How do cope?

God coping is the most hardest thing I have ever learned. Addicts put you under so much stress, that it takes over your body, making every day things harder to do. I had the worst coping mechanisms, I will admit, I use to damage my own body, but thats all I knew. I was bulimic/ over exercised. My mom watched me destroy my self, and never spoke a word. I mean IF YOUR OWN MOM DOESNT CARE, Why should u? Thats what kept going through my head, I was never good enough for her to care about me. She never wanted me in the first place, she just had me because my sister wanted a little sister. So my coping mechanism was to work out until you feel no pain. My horrible days pretty much when like this.
Wake up
Drink coffee & cereal maybe if we had some
computer for a couple of hours
Work out around 2 in the hot summer degrees of 90+
come back shower
Computer
then work out again around 11 pm to 2 am.

& I would drink coffee through out the day, nothing else. I lost so much weight, and my mom saw me doing this and never stepped in. I mean I would binge and purge. The only words she said to me was
" How much you purge today?"
me - "Ehh 5 times maybe 6"
Her - " O thats not that bad"

WTF?? I mean uhmm I dont think a teenage girl should be doing it at all. I mean I admit I had a problem I wanted help but she wouldnt help me, I was taking prozac to help me cope, she took off my meds cause she felt like it.

Alcoholic's will do whatever they want, they will watch you fall and not help you up. At least my mom did. If you were my mom would have you stepped in? Or let me continue until I ended up killing my self?

So the question is how do you cope? How do you cope of living with them, and living with there disease.

I wish I had a MAGICAL Answer But I dont. Because it all depends on the person. But here are somethings that can help you that helps me alot.

1. Music, get that music in your ears and BE FREE
2. Work out (but not to the extent i use to)
3. Read
4. Write about your experiences
5. Talk to someone
6. Go out and Have a sleep over just get away from the stressful house you live in
7. Get a pet they are so helpful, I love my cats to death.
8. Browse the web
9. Meet new people.
10. Live your life, not theirs, they are the ones who want to live that life style, not you!!

My favorite coping skill is putting the music on as loud as it can get, and writing. As we speak this is what I am doing!!!






This is me the summer I was sick.


Be strong, don't let their disease take over you too.

Feeling

Today, I had one of those days were it went so slow all I wanted to do is curl up in bed. But one thing that kept coming into my head was my mom. She is the alcoholic in my family. I just kept thinking about the past, it was on repeat. I sat there thinking about her, and what she did during my child hood. I felt this wave of emotion hit me, I am still torn from what she has done; I am still hurting. I am under so much stress just from her, it is emotional draining. I worry, and think about her almost everyday, and there are days I don't think about her at all. I just don't understand how a mother can abandon her kids, for a bottle of vodka, how I pour my heart & tears to her, and she looks at me with a blank stare like she doesn't know what I am talking about. Like I am the crazy one who is loosing my mind. Alcoholics will lie to you, and They lie to them self. They think they are just hurting themselves when in reality they are hurting everyone around them. Don't let them ruin your life, I mean I am doing the best I ever have, but everyday it still bothers me and eats me inside. I don't want you to go through the pain I go through, I have a wonderful boyfriend who takes that horrible pain away and makes me feel wanted for once. But still, when my mind starts going it doesn't stop.

How to manage?!

How to manage your self living with an Addict. When I say addict I am talking from drugs users to alcoholics. Its very hard to manage your own life when living with an addict believe me I know!
But think to your self, should I stop living my life to watch them not listen and continue harming them self? The answer is no, don't let them ruin your life. I lost many years to an alcoholic mother and I tried to help her my whole life was revolved around her. & I put all that time and effort & still nothing changed.

So the question is how do you manage?

1. Don't let them bring you down! Addicts are known for bringing down others with them.

2. Focus on your future, and what you want to achieve in life. No one can stop you from what you really want.

3. Have you time. Go out and do what you want getting away from them is a great thing, they are toxic.

4. Think & tell your self you have done everything possible. Don't beat your self up from it.

5. Talk to friends or close relatives about what your concerns are, or just vent to them. We all need that.

6. Write down how you are feeling, its emotional and very draining. This is very helpful to release all that stress and be content for a little bit.

7. Whatever you do don't give in to them. That's just giving them way to much power.

8. Don't let them influence or control your life.


My years of growing up was the hardest, I never knew how to cope with living with an addict and it lead me down a dark road for a bit. But now I am out to share with others.


My sister died at the age of 7, when I was just a baby. After she passed on its been a down spiral since. I lost my caring loving mother, who took care of her family, to a bottle of vodka. My family & I have done everything we could to help her but she still never wanted to get better. Our happy days of being a family soon came to a end when Jade died. I cant say I knew my sister very much since I was a baby, But I can say not having in her in our lives lead our family down the path of destruction.

Intro

I am Stephanie, love to write. I am starting this blog to share my experience of growing up with an addict. Living & growing up with an addict is one of the most challenging things to go through. I have an alcoholic & drug additive parents. One got sober, the other sadly to say hasn't. Growing up I went through tough times as loosing our house, no money, not getting fed, etc. I would tell other people what was going on but no one believed me cause of how young I was/am. It took many years for people to just start to see the crazy life I lived everyday and the home life I had to go to. It was tough, but now it made me a better person. This blog is going to be about my experiences since I was young, and my tips to help you cope; because living with an addict is the most hardest thing someone has to go through. & I want to help, I want you to connect with me as my journey though life continues; your there every step of the way. I can help you, and you can help me. Were a team.