Thursday, July 22, 2010

Discouraged. But I am back

Hey Everyone,
Wow I haven't been on here since December, that's crazy!
I have tons to talk about, so much great information to share.
As I left off, I made youtube videos for a little, and my last post was about asking your self questions.

I find my self asking my self questions all the time, and most of the time I can never come up with an answer.

When you have an addict or an alcoholic in your family you have to deal with alot. But you have a couple choices you ether can Forgive & Help; Or Leave & Forget.
Which one is right? If you keep forgiving and keep trying to help most likely you will be let down, and your efforts don't matter to the person that you are helping.
But if you leave & forget, are you moving on and bettering yourself? I find my self in a dilemma, I want to help and forgive, but the memories are too powerful and takes over my faith for the person. She is like an addiction, she always knows how to bring me back. If I don't talk to her I am okay, I am free, I am me. But when I talk to her I fall back into her traps, and I start to feel bad for her when I look into her Hazel eyes. But why? She is the one who did it to her self and didn't care for her children like any mother should.

Have you ever been in this situation?

Ha if you haven't, You lucky cause it sucks.

I keep telling my self to keep going with my life, and move on. But Its kind hard when you are fighting yourself, to love your mom or just to let go.