Tuesday, December 1, 2009

How do cope?

God coping is the most hardest thing I have ever learned. Addicts put you under so much stress, that it takes over your body, making every day things harder to do. I had the worst coping mechanisms, I will admit, I use to damage my own body, but thats all I knew. I was bulimic/ over exercised. My mom watched me destroy my self, and never spoke a word. I mean IF YOUR OWN MOM DOESNT CARE, Why should u? Thats what kept going through my head, I was never good enough for her to care about me. She never wanted me in the first place, she just had me because my sister wanted a little sister. So my coping mechanism was to work out until you feel no pain. My horrible days pretty much when like this.
Wake up
Drink coffee & cereal maybe if we had some
computer for a couple of hours
Work out around 2 in the hot summer degrees of 90+
come back shower
then work out again around 11 pm to 2 am.

& I would drink coffee through out the day, nothing else. I lost so much weight, and my mom saw me doing this and never stepped in. I mean I would binge and purge. The only words she said to me was
" How much you purge today?"
me - "Ehh 5 times maybe 6"
Her - " O thats not that bad"

WTF?? I mean uhmm I dont think a teenage girl should be doing it at all. I mean I admit I had a problem I wanted help but she wouldnt help me, I was taking prozac to help me cope, she took off my meds cause she felt like it.

Alcoholic's will do whatever they want, they will watch you fall and not help you up. At least my mom did. If you were my mom would have you stepped in? Or let me continue until I ended up killing my self?

So the question is how do you cope? How do you cope of living with them, and living with there disease.

I wish I had a MAGICAL Answer But I dont. Because it all depends on the person. But here are somethings that can help you that helps me alot.

1. Music, get that music in your ears and BE FREE
2. Work out (but not to the extent i use to)
3. Read
4. Write about your experiences
5. Talk to someone
6. Go out and Have a sleep over just get away from the stressful house you live in
7. Get a pet they are so helpful, I love my cats to death.
8. Browse the web
9. Meet new people.
10. Live your life, not theirs, they are the ones who want to live that life style, not you!!

My favorite coping skill is putting the music on as loud as it can get, and writing. As we speak this is what I am doing!!!


This is me the summer I was sick.

Be strong, don't let their disease take over you too.