But think to your self, should I stop living my life to watch them not listen and continue harming them self? The answer is no, don't let them ruin your life. I lost many years to an alcoholic mother and I tried to help her my whole life was revolved around her. & I put all that time and effort & still nothing changed.
So the question is how do you manage?
1. Don't let them bring you down! Addicts are known for bringing down others with them.
2. Focus on your future, and what you want to achieve in life. No one can stop you from what you really want.
3. Have you time. Go out and do what you want getting away from them is a great thing, they are toxic.
4. Think & tell your self you have done everything possible. Don't beat your self up from it.
5. Talk to friends or close relatives about what your concerns are, or just vent to them. We all need that.
6. Write down how you are feeling, its emotional and very draining. This is very helpful to release all that stress and be content for a little bit.
7. Whatever you do don't give in to them. That's just giving them way to much power.
8. Don't let them influence or control your life.
My years of growing up was the hardest, I never knew how to cope with living with an addict and it lead me down a dark road for a bit. But now I am out to share with others.
My sister died at the age of 7, when I was just a baby. After she passed on its been a down spiral since. I lost my caring loving mother, who took care of her family, to a bottle of vodka. My family & I have done everything we could to help her but she still never wanted to get better. Our happy days of being a family soon came to a end when Jade died. I cant say I knew my sister very much since I was a baby, But I can say not having in her in our lives lead our family down the path of destruction.
Hello young braveheart,
ReplyDeleteyou are so courageous for sharing with the world what is such terrible pain and sorrow and usually kept a secret by most people in the world that also have this same thing going on in their life.
I was married to an alcoholic, I have been separated now for 3 years and I have 3 children, 2 in their twenties and my baby still at home is 15.
It is the most horrible wretched thing to endure, I feel your pain. I understand it.
We didnt know there were others like us that were also keeping this secret until we went to an alanon meeting. It was the most eye opening experience of our lives. To know that their were others like us, that shared our same pain and that we were not alone. We thought we were the only ones.
I hated him for not stopping it for giving our children the same childhood that he had.
Its like they get stuck in a moment, like that U2 song says, and they cant get out of it.
Keep your chin up.
One thing that I learned from all of this, was from "The Serenity Prayer" that you get a copy of when you start going to alanon meetings.....
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Nieb
peace be with you
xo
do not be afraid to drop me a line if you would like to some time, anytime